Chain letter making the rounds: Things I’ve Learned From My Boys

My mother sent me this chain letter in June. Whether it was because it reminded her of what my brother and I were like as youngsters, or that she is warning me about my own sons, I don’t know. It is still humorous to read, especially if you have boys and can relate to even one item in the list.

  • For those who have grown children – this is hysterical
  • For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious
  • For those who have children this age, this is not funny
  • For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning
  • For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control

Things I’ve Learned From My Boys

  1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
  2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
  3. A 3-year old boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
  4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.
  5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
  6. A double-paned glass window doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
  7. When you hear the toilet flush, followed by the words "uh oh," it’s already too late.
  8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
  9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
  10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
  11. "Playdough" and "microwave" should not be used in the same sentence.
  12. Super glue is forever.
  13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
  14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
  15. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
  16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
  17. Marbles in gas tanks make a lot of noise when driving.
  18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
  19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
  20. The fire department in Austin, TX, has a 5-minute response time.
  21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
  22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
  23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
  24. 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
  25. 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

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